I have said this before, it amazes me what other Chemo patients
go through and are still able to function and keep a stiff upper lip. I take a
single drug instead of a toxic cocktail and I feel that I have been dragged
backwards through the ringer, stood up and pushed through the other side. Don’t
get me wrong, take a week off, I attend
meetings, do some light gardening and get the dogs their morning walk, but the
constant fatigue, lack of stamina and no breath is mentally taxing. I’ve started the first of two weeks off of
Chemo which means the first week back to work. Staying awake in the afternoon,
keeping on track, and keeping focus are really difficult this time.
Thursday last week I decided t as a good idea to travel to
Sailbury de Valleyfield QC to visit my sister, her husband and cousins who had
flown over from Wales for a conference and were staying for the Montreal F1 race.
After Beth got off work on Thursday we got on the road and headed east. I did
really well until Napanee where we stopped for a protein break. While taking
time to stretch, eat and rest we got a text informing us that there was a new
baby that is going to join our extended family in November. On that high we got
back on the 401. Just down the road, the fatigue started to set in, the adrenaline
high started to abate and trucks appeared in front of us a lot sooner than I
would like. Time to pull off. We pulled off at Brockville, with an hour and a
half to go we decided to get a room for the night. (part of the backup plan all
along). It was a great visit, but daily driving, walking through museums and the
odd beer a day ( that would 3, 5 7 not 1) would take its toll. After supper if
we were just talking i was falling asleep by 9:30p, I needed more alone time than usual, fortunately not many
are up with me at 6am, and certainly the shortness of breath and the joint
plains were taking a toll as well. Was
it the smartest thing I have ever done, NO!, am I sorry I went NO!, would I do
it again IN A HEART BEAT! A chance to see family that I haven’t seen in 3-4
years, and I may never see again for the same length of time or longer, and
only 7 hours away is a powerful draw. We came home on the Monday and had a
fantastic music practice that evening, but wow did I go for a long deep sleep.
Nausea has been a larger factor this time. I have had to
take meds, at each large meal, and some times before bed. The hot flashes from
the hormones seem to be more frequent and warmer. Simple tasks take a little
longer and if you thought my mind wander before or I couldn’t stay on track before,
you ain’t seen nothing yet. My desire to be at work has gone, I’m not dreading
it, nor do I hate my job and I loathe the climb up the stairs to my office a
zillion times a day but I certainly don’t want to be there for this last 5
weeks but other than the Chemo week I have no real reason not to be there.
My hair continues to grow on top of my head and my beard
continues to slowly grow, although red and brown are gone and have been substituted
with strawberry blonde and white.
Ah well things go on, I have been able to garden, kayak, drive
to Quebec , move my daughter, yes all at a reduced rate, but I have been able still to do it which a lot taking this
regimen have not been able to do. This
has been the fifth of six treatments, the next one, the last one, I get to ring
the “I’m done bell”. So all things being
equal I’m only a few weeks away from totally flushing these toxins from my body
and getting on with life.
All things are good and I can still look down at the grass
and not up at it.
BK
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